Sunshine Fades

The man woke up to the sound of his own voice, cursing the empty room around him as loudly as possible. He sat up, and rubbed his eyes with his hands – only to find that they were wet with tears.

He got up and glanced at a clock – it was 4am, and pitch black outside. Through the darkness and fogged glass, though, the man could see glimpses of flickering light. The crystalline shapes marked falling snow, and there was a fresh layer of white under all the shadows outside.

The man left his house, anxious to walk off the nightmare. When his feet touched the frigid ground, he realized that he had forgotten his shoes – but he didn’t care. The flakes felt good between his toes.

As much as the cold air distracted, however, the man knew that his mind would fall back on the dream. It had been a realization – one that can only happen while asleep. He realized now that he was no longer innocent.

As a boy, the man had been an optimist. Each morning, streaks of light would caress his cheek and lift him out of bed. The warm glow of the sun brightened his very heart, and he wished for nothing but to share its love with someone. But no one had ever come.

As the years passed, his heart weakened. The warm glow that once enveloped it slowly faded away, until only the very core remained bright. The darkness of the world had filled the void with coldness and apathy, and the man had become a skeptic.

Until the day he met her.

The man shivered in the cold, and wished he had thought to bring a jacket. His pace quickened in the rising snow, and though he did not have a destination he felt himself getting ever closer to it.

On that first day, the girl had smiled at him, and the light in her eyes had immediately broken through the chilled outer layers of his heart. She reminded him of the sun that he had known so long ago, with a warmth and brightness that could not be overcome by the night.

Their hearts intertwined completely, they were wed and began their new life together. In the mornings, the man would watch as the sunshine reflected off the girl’s hair, making it almost glow. His heart was truly happy, and cast out rays of light in all directions.

But the darkness fled to the innermost recesses of his heart, and began to leave doubt in his mind. Though his heart shined brightly on the outside, it did not seem to have the same capacity for love on the inside. The years of skepticism had weakened it too much, and he no longer had the same faith in its power.

The girl became sick, and left the world on a cold winter night. The man blamed himself – it was his weak heart that had made their two hearts susceptible. He kept a lock of her hair on the bedside table, but it never again caught the light like before.

His feet were practically numb now, but the man could not turn back. It was approaching dawn, and he was starting to catch glimpses of his surroundings. A white hill lay before him, and a forest of evergreens seemed to follow him up it in all other directions.

The man could sense the sun rising beyond the peak of the hill, melting the fresh snow all around him. He continued to climb. As he reached the summit, the sun appeared to pause for a moment, but then continued its ascent into the cloudless sky above.

The man fell to his hands and knees and cursed the sun under his breath, tears streaming down his face. It was all the sun’s fault. It had made him believe in a power that just wasn’t there.

Though the snow melted in the warmth and light, the man’s tears froze solid as they fell. Wiping his face with a snow covered hand, he clutched at his heart, only to realize there was no longer a pulse. The man threw back his head and shouted at the top of his lungs.

And woke up.